Speaking with other homosapians....what a pain....and a joy

Communication is such a tricky thing. If you are to direct then you come off as mean, arrogant or something of that nature and if you are to passive then you come across as unsure, insecure and perhaps even unreadable. I just want to find the balance. I want to be clear but kind and firm but gentle. I think in my attempts I end up not really getting across the message I had desired to. Then there is the balance of involvement to the topic or conversation. If you are passionately involved then you risk the potential of raising your voice or something of that nature. If you are just there then you risk appearing as if you don't care or are indifferent. If you then throw into the mix different communication and personality types you have a big mess that is just about impossible to maneuver. So, the resolve..... Do I just stop communicating....???? No you just deal with the mess and pray that your efforts will be half as clear to those around you as it it to yourself. I guess, just as so many other things in life, we continue to attempt to better our imperfect vessels and shape them more in a way that would allow us to be used as a tool for something. I believe I am currently likely be an old school tool that can get the job done but requires a little bit more work and a lot more frustration.