This whole election business

I think that there are a lot of different perspectives about this whole election business and I have to admit that I have continued to waiver back and forth on what to do.  I think that this blog post helps articulate a lot of the feelings that I have had in regards to this whole mess.  I would encourage you (if there is anyone reading this :) to take the time to read the aforementioned blog post in full.  I would welcome comments, as I in no way think I have all the answers but am leaning towards either not voting or casting my vote for Chuck Baldwin, which I recognize is likely, whom I kidding more than likely, a wasted vote.  The alternative, I'm afraid, is to vote contrary to the spirit within me...

St Augustine

 “In all these books those who fear God and are of a meek and pious disposition seek the will of God. And in pursuing this search the first rule to be observed is, as I said, to know these books, if not yet with the understanding, still to read them so as to commit them to memory, or at least so as not to remain wholly ignorant of them. Next, those matters that are plainly laid down in them, whether rules of life or rules of faith, are to be searched into more carefully and more diligently; and the more of these a man discovers, the more capacious does his understanding become. For among the things that are plainly laid down in Scripture are to be found all matters that concern faith and the manner of life — to wit, hope and love, of which I have spoken in the previous book. After this, when we have made ourselves to a certain extent familiar with the language of Scripture, we may proceed to open up and investigate the obscure passages, and in doing so draw examples from the plainer expressions to throw light upon the more obscure, and use the evidence of passages about which there is no doubt to remove all hesitation in regard to the doubtful passages. And in this matter memory counts for a great deal; but if the memory be defective, no rules can supply the want.”

(St Augustine, On Christian Doctrine, II.9.14)

Would You Think It Odd

Would you think it odd if I said,

"I am in love with every church

And mosque

And temple

And any kind of shrine

Because I know it is here That people say the different names

Of the One God."

Would you tell your friends

I was a bit strange if I admitted

I am indeed in love with every mind 

And heart and body.

O I am sincerely

Plumb crazy

About your every though and yearning

And limb

Because, my dear, 

I know 

That it is through these

That you search for Him.

By: Hafiz

I Have Learned So Much

I

Have

Learned

So much from God

That I can no longer

Call

Myself

A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim,

A Buddhist, a Jew.

The Truth has shared so much of Itself

With me

That I can no longer call myself

A man, a woman, an angel,

Or even pure

Soul.

Love has

Befriended me so completely

It has turned to ash

And freed

Me

Of every concept and image

My mind has ever known.

By: Hafiz

Mismatched Newlyweds

Like 

A pair

Of mismatched newlyweds,

One of whom still feels very insecure,

I keep turning to God

Saying,

"Kiss

Me."

By: Hafiz

Speaking with other homosapians....what a pain....and a joy

Communication is such a tricky thing. If you are to direct then you come off as mean, arrogant or something of that nature and if you are to passive then you come across as unsure, insecure and perhaps even unreadable. I just want to find the balance. I want to be clear but kind and firm but gentle. I think in my attempts I end up not really getting across the message I had desired to. Then there is the balance of involvement to the topic or conversation. If you are passionately involved then you risk the potential of raising your voice or something of that nature. If you are just there then you risk appearing as if you don't care or are indifferent. If you then throw into the mix different communication and personality types you have a big mess that is just about impossible to maneuver. So, the resolve..... Do I just stop communicating....???? No you just deal with the mess and pray that your efforts will be half as clear to those around you as it it to yourself. I guess, just as so many other things in life, we continue to attempt to better our imperfect vessels and shape them more in a way that would allow us to be used as a tool for something. I believe I am currently likely be an old school tool that can get the job done but requires a little bit more work and a lot more frustration.

God's Plan

I am finding myself confused on God's plan... I just got back from a conference where one of the speakers stated that we just need to focus on honoring God today and that if I focus on that today and tomorrow and the next day then later on I will look back and see what God's plan for my life was. This concept is in contrast to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" or "What has God called you to?". I find it very difficult to submit to that idea. To submit to the idea that I must just commit to God and keep following Him on a daily basis and not worry about my plan.

I am in a job environment that provides so many wonderful opportunities for my family and my schedule yet I find myself feeling dissatisfied and lost. I feel like I go to work to make money and that is not a good enough reason any more. I don't really want money. I want to be a part of a greater more important picture. Perhaps I am and if I would just focus on being a focused follower of Christ today and submitting to him today then I would discover that I am a part of His greater plan. God help me seek you today and find satisfaction in being yours!

WOW what is my problem

Ok so I have not posted often and believe thankfully that my wife is the only avid reader but I have come to a conclusion... I live in fear. Fear of what others will think. Fear that I might say something wrong or perhaps it won't even be wrong but then it becomes the fear that someone will take it wrong. Fear that I missed the point or didn't get it. How silly to live like that! I spend so much time worrying about what others are going to think about me or what others will perceive of me that I don't have time to figure out what I should be putting all that energy into. Well, anyways, I have decided that I am going to purpose to STOP! Stop living in fear of everyone else and everything else. Let me stop for a second and clarify, I am not a phobic kinda person that is not the kind of fear I am talking about I am your average poser who looks and acts well adjusted.

So, with all that said (or perhaps not said) let me express my recently evolving revolution. I grew up in a Bible believing home, a evangelical home. Our beliefs were based on the Bible and not anything else. I started teaching classes in church in high school and was a staff member before my 20th birthday. I had the journey started and successfully rolling along early. I was the stuff (at least in church). Through a lot of not so clear circumstances I became complacent and a very involved physical member of a local church but that was were it stopped. After years of becoming the hypocrite that I had so avidly taught against early in my (short lived) teaching carrier. That conclusion was not easily reached and when I finally faced it I gave up. I found myself in a place of agnosticism feeling that the Bible was bull and so was the whole gospel message. No one was living in victory and I was living the "Christian life" more fully then everyone else that had it figured out. One problem though.... The love of my youth had not gone down the same path and still bought this church and Bible mess as did my children. We bounced around looking for authentic men that I could become open with and discovered that it was all but impossible to find. Which led further to the conclusion that this was not the answer or even a reality. But.... I had to keep trying because I was not ready to let go of my family (which was not a literal cost but would cause a separation that I felt was unacceptable).

So, I finally came across someone that appeared to really be living what he believed and it was at work not at church! We hashed out concepts in scripture which lead to the opportunity to tell him where I was which lead to studying the Bible which lead to the whole point of this long rant.

I started to look at scripture and read what it said and believe that it meant what it said. When Luke 14 says if you want to come to Christ then you have to weigh it like a king going into battle it means that this is a major thought out decision. I had read that I would even have said that I agreed but I didn't really believe that it was such a major life altering weighed out decision. It was a decision that was made after an inspirational church service where I repeated a prayer after the pastor.

I read Matt 21:22 and saw what I had always seen "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." Sure I believed it, after all I had grown up in the church and based my beliefs on the Bible but had I really? Had anyone really? I can't make that judgment but I can tell you I had not. I am just now realizing that God's Word is really what it says and trying to make that real in my life. Prayer really has power! Not just a game of swapping prayer requests that I might mention in passing because I don't believe it but because it is real, He is real! WOW! This is so basic but I have been in church since I can remember (even before that but I don't remember) and I am just starting to realize these basic concepts because they are told or shared but not practiced. The gospel that I saw lived out was not one of victory or loving others or relying on Jesus. That is what we talked about but almost more like a club that upheld a high standard of morals and apparent integrity.

Wow. I can't believe that I am putting this out there!

The idea of being in your business... I mean knowing others in the body of Christ intimately and asking real prodding questions that encourage growth. Huh? I mean I was in an accountability group for 2 + years in the midst of feeling empty and lost and was never challenged (which is partly my fault for not sharing) never asked any leading questions just superficial questions about integrity and purity. The problem is that those are easy when you have grown up playing church. I learned how to live the Christian life but had I really? I mean I had learned to live the Christian life that I had learned... But that is not the same life that the Bible calls me to. The Bible says, Mat 5:10 "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus gives this great list we call the beatitudes that are incredible and have words like "hunger and thirst for righteousness" and "peacemakers". None of those are things that were new or foreign but again re look at the the whole chapter and read it as if He meant it! WOW! This is such a different gospel. He talked about loving others above yourself not just your best friend but your enemies and those stinky poor people on the street and those that hate you.

I am getting tired and so I will stop but WOW! I hope and pray that I never fall into playing church. But you know that I do every day (maybe more often than that) because I am trained to play church, our churches are setup to assist me in playing church. We facilitate playing church. I challenge you to study out some topics you already have figured and read it as if it really means what it says. Read it without the commentary and WOW! It is inspiring and renewing and WOW. WOW!

Money

You would think that once you had learned a lesson you would be able to move on to the next lesson but that is not so. I discovered that if I did not layout my (our) desires and goals then I would allow my money to go all over the place without real purpose but if I took the time to sit down and think through what I (we) really hoped or dreamed to accomplish then I could direct income into areas that helped accomplish those things fairly rapidly. The problem is that I guess I am so used to not getting there that I didn't plan on what to do when we accomplished our goals... I mean I had thought about it and discussed it but then you get there and everything that you have been working towards (financially) is finished then it is almost as if you have hit the reset button and I am affraid that if not careful then the cycle starts again.